I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
