so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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