Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
