I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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