So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
love makes seman taste better
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
