I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
