i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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