i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
50% drunk capacity currently
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
