All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
