in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
