and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize