No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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