you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
