Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
