Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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