so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
