There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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