Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
