I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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