I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize