i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
