You're my little dorito
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
