we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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