2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you would pick up someone in the library
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize