I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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