Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
