i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
