i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
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Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
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We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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