Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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