people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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