Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
