i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
