i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize