I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
