There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
BRING THE BAGELS
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
