I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Someone shattered a urinal.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
