absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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