I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
