I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize