Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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