so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
