I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Sober January is a disaster.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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