It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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