so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
