so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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