Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
