i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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