isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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