You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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