she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
