Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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