Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
