Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
