it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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