My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How external is "for external use only"?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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