If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
