he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You ate ashes out of my bong
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