if only i could text you this smell
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
