It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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