Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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