Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
