there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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