I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
