Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
