He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I supernannyed him into submission
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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