and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
