driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
