I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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